Visions
by Wings of Dawn
Summary: Apathy is Death, apathy, apathy-' "IT'S NOT APATHY!" Rated T for safety
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

Keira stumbled into the Ebon Hawk, shoulders slumped in exhaustion. There were no open wounds, though in some points skin threatened to break if irritated. As the door slid shut behind her, blocking out the sand and sun beyond, she gave an almost unnoticeable shudder.

Korriban.

She wished they had never come to this cursed world. Their search for the Jedi Master proved pointless. The woman was found dead. Encountering a Sith Lord, she was forced to flee the academy...Then....

There was the cave.

Shaking her head fiercely, Keira tried to rid herself of the thought.

"_Not yet,_" her mind hissed, "_you can't break down yet._"

Taking a sharp left, she quickly passed through the work-room, ignoring the friendly "Hey, general!" from Bao-Dur. As she moved past and down the hallway, she leaned heavily on the cold, steel wall. Soon, she stumbled into the barracks, not even having the strength to glare at Kreia; all Keira could do was swallow down a feeling of nausea.

"Out," Keira whispered, "get out."

Kreia gave her a peircing, knowing look- that dang look!- as she moved out the door. As soon as solitude was assured, Keira locked the door, activating the sound shield around the room. Stumbling to he corner, she collapsed on the ground. She pressed her back into the corner & hugged her knees to her chest.

For the first time since her exile, Keira broke.

The tears began to pour in unceasing rivers down her cheeks, quickly converting to sobs. Her right hand reached up, pulling out every last pin that held her long black hair in place. The locks fell into place, draping over her shoulders so the tips could brush the middle of her upper-arms.

_Malak._ The icy arrow of his name pierced through her heart. She had been forced to relive moments much better forgotten, to face the ghosts of her past. Those phantoms, those visions, had tested her.

"_If you could do it all again, would you do it differently?_"

No. She could not. Her choices, as well as the events that resulted, had shaped her. She would have never seen the places, been through the experiences, or met the people that now filled her memories. No, she would not change a thing.

"_Will you join us now?_"

"_I didn't join you then, and I won't join you now._"

Sith. The word felt like poison. They went to war to save people, and then they chose to become Sith? She was unable to comprehend it.

The battle that followed was bitter as she fought desperately to suppress her pure rage. Phantom Malak fought, surrounded by his phantom followers. Even Bastila – miss-goody-two-shoes-Bastila – had fallen to him at one point!

As she gave Malak one last strike, they all faded into non-existence, leaving naught but an eirie silence in their wake. She thought she had been given relief.

How wrong she had been.

Next came another all too familiar scene. The charge at Dxun, in the heart of the Mandalorian war. As she listened to the phantom before her, feelings that were all too familiar returned to her. Sinking even deeper into her stomach was the nervousness and dread. Beyond that, however, was the revulsion of what she knew happened, of the lives that had been ended much too soon. What laid before her now was simply a vision. The choices she made now could never change the past. Yet a part of her hoped that the decisions she made now could somehow atone for the lives her orders had sacrificed.

"_I'll go ahead and try to disable the mines._"

She recovered all of them with ease. Why had she not learned this skill earlier? How much could it have saved them? When the path was cleared, they joined her just in time for a group of Mandalorians to attack. A fierce protectiveness over came her. Even if they were only phantoms, she would not let one of her men fall by the enemy's blade. As the last Mandalorian fell, everything faded. An eery silence filled the room.

As she made her way to the next room, she took in several deep breaths. Her nerves were frazzled, her stress level high, and a pounding was beginning to echo in her head.

Stepping through the next door, she steeled herself for the next challenge. However, that couldn't prepare her for what came next. Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes fell on a brown cloak she knew all too well.

In the dark corner of the barracks, Keira shivered. This...this was the worst part.

"_You have faced your past, now you must face your present._"

Oh, she had thought that would be easy. Some how, despite the constant peril, she counted the times since Peragus as some of the best in her life. Every last member of the team had become family. In a way, Kreia was the stern old grandmother who always knew what was going on and always gave advice, whether it was wanted or not.

Attons, was....well, she wasn't quite sure. At first all she had seen was a perverted, aggravating man. Slowly, however, she had begun to feel differently. She unraveled his past and took him a step further into the force. Now they were able to carry on friendly conversation. She had even begun to look forward to their regular pazaak matches.

There was Bao-Dur, their technician, a fellow war veteran. He didn't have much to say, but his smiles, glances, and nods told it all for him.

Mandalore had joined them, though she still wondered about his past. Comparing views on different battles was always a point of interest for them.

Mira...well, Mira actually was still on the fringes of their little family. A rather cut and dry type of girl, Keira had always thought. Once, when introduced to the force, she had opened up, but no more than that.

Then there were the four droids. Remote and T3 had little to say, but G0-T0 and HK-47 were full of information. HK's past was shady, and she had suspicions about his former master, but all the same he was fun to have around.

Needless to say, she hadn't been expecting difficulties. Soon, however, the others had filled the room as well, confronting Kreia.

_"Who will you side with?_"

Keira could remember the confusion, the fear. She didn't want to side, didn't want to choose. She was staring into their eyes, their oh-so-realistic eyes. Their cries echoed through them, begging her to join them.

She msut be with them.

"_Am I above redemption?_"

No, that wasn't right. Her heart was wrenching in two, tearing at the seams she had so recently sown back together. Why? Why must they fight? They were a team!

She couldn't, wouldn't, choose. They were all so important to her.

"_I will not attack you, but I will not stop them either."_

She would not go against them. Striking down those she cared most for would destroy her.

Then, they each gave a hollow cry, all the same.

"_Apathy is death._"

The words shot through Keira, freezing her to the core. In her state of shock, she barely blocked a swing from Kreia in time. They were attacking her, all of them.

In that dark corner of the Ebon Hawk, Keira shuddered, breaking into a fresh round of sobs, biting hard into her lip. How easily they turned on her! The words echoed through her head, haunting her.

Apathy is death, apathy, _apathy_-

_**"It's not apathy!"**_

The words ripped from her lips in a desprate, terriefied screech.

"It wasn't," her words faded to trembling whispers, "I couldn't......I didn't want to hurt anyone..."

As she fell into more silent sobs, there was a pounding on the other side of the door. After a moment, the door hissed open, and a familiar voice washed over her.

"Um, Bao-Dur and Mandalore are fighting again, I think-"

The words came to an abrupt stop as she stared up at the man in front of her.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Um, Bao-Dur and Mandalor are fighting again, I think-"

Atton jerked to a stop as his eyes caught sight of Keira. It was a sight to behold, shocking enough to cause the head games he constantly played to come to a jumbled halt.

From the time Atton met her in that cell on Peragus as she strode in with nothing but her undergarments and a blaster, Keira had represented strength. Even when she left herself wide open, calmly declaring, "If you have questions, ask," there was a self-assurance about her that he would never doubt.

The scene before him now, however, contradicted everything he thought he knew. Keira was huddled in a corner. Her legs were drawn up as her arms hugged them to her chest; she was curled safely in the fetal position, seeming broken and desperate. As she took every ragged, tear-choked breath, he saw the way her shoulders slumped. The black hair that was always perfectly pinned in place fell freely about her.

Beyond her position, what shocked him most was her face. Since they had begun traveling together he had seen many expressions cross her face. The way her eyebrows would lift into her forehead in surprise. He would watch as her eyes would narrow and her lips would draw a tight line in irritation. When she fought, be it with words or weapons, he saw either suppressed anger or a fierce protectiveness and purpose burn in her eyes, her eyebrows slanting down to press against her eyelids. He saw when her eyes would soften as she surveyed those who's lives had been destroyed by war and violence. As one brow would raise in an unimpressed manner, almost in disdain or amusement. One thing tied them all together, thought: They were all suppressed.

What he saw now, thought, was beyond their level. Tears were pouring down her already tear-stained cheeks, with more welling up in her eyes. Her eyes were darkened, staring at him unblinkingly, so many emotions flashing through them. They screamed of peircing anguish, confusion, and fright.

She seemed desperate.

She seemed like a child.

Finally, he broke the silence.

"What......happened?"

Keira lowered her eyes, shuddering.

"You tried to kill me," came the terrified whisper.

"What? Mira and I left you behind at the cave!"

Her eyes focusing on the pistol at his hip, Keira added, "You all tried to kill me."

Her eyes slid shut, tears leaking out to stick on her eyelashes. Everything was playing in her mind's eye.

The room was dark. The only people who could be her family were shooting, slashing, yelling; they were trying to kill her.

Her body began to shake. A small, pained noise made its way past the sobs that blocked her throat.

"Keira..." Atton took a step forward, prepared to reason with or comfort the girl, thought he wasn't sure how.

"Stay back!"

Keira shot to her feet in an instant. Locks of hair fell in front of her face. Her eyes met his in a terrified, desperate gaze as she kept one hand stretched out.

Stiffening, Atton eyed the hand, the fingers of which were curled in a position he knew all to well.

"I can snap your neck in a moment," Keira hissed. "So don't come any closer, murderer. I'm not defenseless."

Atton backed up quickly, his back pressing against the ship's steel walls. In a hurry to protect himself, he unhooked his pistol's holster from his belt.

He could see Keira's eyes watching the gun fall. As it hit the floor, she seemed to relax a bit.

"Keira," Atton began hesitantly, "We were all in the ship while you were off doing whatever you were doing. Besides, why would we even want to kill you? I mean, Mira might, since she's a bounty hunger, but she doesn't kill people."

Keira blinked at him for a moment before sliding down the wall back to the floor.

"That's what I"m trying to understand! Why!"

Atton slowly walked over, finally kneeling in front of her. Sighing, Keira closed her eyes. After a moment, she looked back up, eyes regaining an emotions he was familiar with.

She was going to ask a question, and she was going to get an answer.

"What is apathy?"

Atton's eye brows shot up into his forehead.

"Uh....lack of emotion? Good grief, is this Jedi speak or something? Some hidden meaning?"

Keira's mouth twisted into a small, relieved grin as a short, harsh, yet genuine laugh escaped her. The sudden affect could be seen over her entire image. Her limbs slipped into a relaxed posture, and her head tilted back to rest against the wall.

"It wasn't really," she said breathlessly, "it wasn't you...it wasn't actually any of you. It was just a vision-just a vision."

After trying to decipher her jumbled speech for a moment, Atton shook his head and stood up.  
"Well, it's good to have you back from whatever world you were in."

Giving a small grin, Keira took the hand he offered her, using it to get to her feet.

"Of course. You'd be dead if I wasn't around."

Laughing, Atton shook his head, and Keira couldn't help noticing that he was actually an inch taller than her. She blinked, then strode past him to the door. It didn't matter anyways. As she looked back, she narrowed her eyes.

"This stays between us, got it?"

"Alright, but for a price."

"Wha-"

In the space of a few seconds Atton had crossed the room and placed a quick peck on her lips. He walked calmly out of the room in her moment of shock, looking as if he hadn't just kissed Keira, the exile who could likely kill him. Fighting down a small, _unexplainable_ blush, Keira left the room, calling after him, "You're not gonna get away with that!"

A/N: Ah...here's the disclaimer I forgot to put in: I don't own the game, the characters, the setting, yaddayaddayadda, it all belongs to the....lucus arts place, I think?

Well, here's what the note's /really/ about: Reviews please? I'm not entirely sure how I did on this. I think there may be some OOC Atton, too. After all, when I wrote this chapter it had been a little while since I'd played, so I didn't have a firm grasp on his character. But, yes, reviews are much welcomed!

Finally, thank you for reading! -Wings.


End file.
